When the three other people heard Baldy’s crude wordplay, only Lu Chenzhou remained calm and indifferent. He showed no reaction even as he watched Cheng Xi spit out the water in her mouth.
There was no disdain in his gaze, only some helplessness and exasperation; his attitude was like a parent ruefully thinking about how silly his child was.
And then he summarily flagged a waiter down and started ordering dishes. When Lu Chenzhou ordered food, he wouldn’t ask for anyone’s opinions and they would have to volunteer it themselves if they wanted a say. With four people sharing eight dishes, there was almost surely one that would suit each person’s taste.
After he finished ordering, he finally spared the others another glance. He first looked at Tian Rou, who was still rolling on the floor, laughing, and criticized her. “You fool.” And then he followed suit with Cheng Xi. “You too.”
As for Baldy…… He was already used to his dumb antics, so he couldn’t even be bothered to chastise his actions.
Tian Rou couldn’t accept being one-sidedly scolded. She quickly recovered, picked herself up from the floor, and started picking a fight even as she rubbed her stomach. “Why’re you scolding us like that?” She then pointed at Baldy. “He called you a beast, so why aren’t you criticizing him?”
Baldy indignantly cried out, “When did I say that? Don’t malign me! I was clearly praising Boss Lu’s domineering and manly aura.”
Tian Rou booed and then tried to think of a comeback, but was unable to. She remained somewhat at a loss for what to do before Cheng Xi calmly took over. “A lion’s natural instinct is to mark its territory with its piss, a bestial behavior. By comparing Lu Chenzhou to a lion, aren’t you essentially calling him a beast? There’s nothing wrong with that logic.”
She was just trying to get back at Baldy for his earlier slander that something was going on between her and Ceng Xing. When Lu Chenzhou heard Cheng Xi’s scathing rebuttal, his lips curled as he shot a provocative look toward her. “Calling me bestial is nothing. There are much more animalistic things I can do. Do you want to see?”
Cheng Xi’s mouth was left hanging open.
What was he doing? Spouting such immoral words with such a serious expression… How shameless! She twisted her face away in rejection.
Tian Rou was similarly speechless.
She also twisted her face away, but then she started putting on a play with Baldy. “Hey Baldy, have you been blinded?”
Baldy, without missing a beat, replied, “I’ve been blinded!”
“So, why are we here again?”
“To roll around like the good little third wheels we are, of course.”
It was as if the two of them had become an impromptu comedy duo; after finally getting over their differences, they had teamed up against Cheng Xi and Lu Chenzhou. Tian Rou then comically described Cheng Xi at length. “They say that she’s a doctor at Renyi, which sounds prestigious, to be sure. However, her work environment’s a nightmare. If she’s not careful, then a crazy guy might run up to her and say, ‘Doctor, doctor, my intestines have fallen out! Please help me pick them back up.’ My goodness, I’m all scared stiff just by that thought! I went to visit her once, but I’ll never go back again.”
And Baldy’s rendition of Lu Chenzhou was, “He’s an old virgin, old and pitiful, and he’s never chased a single girl even at his advanced age. You might not believe me when I say this, but a few days ago, he even asked me this: ‘What’s the right way to woo a girl?’ And then I had to patiently teach him that there were three things he had to do daily: give gifts, go on dates, and kiss!”
Cheng Xi’s eyes widened in shock. “! ! !”
No wonder Lu Chenzhou had changed so much so quickly—Cheng Xi thought that he had been reading cheesy romance novels, but in truth, it was this dog-headed buddy of his that had spurred him on! After this revelation of hers, she heard Baldy continue to say, “Not long after that, he asked me what he should do if she didn’t accept flowers, food, appliances, jewelry, clothes! At that moment, I really wanted to crack open his head and take a look at his brain for myself to see how he’s able to be such a shrewd businessman and yet such a foolish boyfriend. It’s truly maddening!”
Tian Rou threw her head back and uproariously laughed again. This time, she even bit down on her sleeves, her eyes gleaming as she kept asking, “And then what?”
“And then I said, ‘Don’t you know even this much? If she doesn’t want anything else, then clearly, what she wants is you. Why don’t you gift yourself to her?’”
Cheng Xi couldn’t even retort.
Tian Rou slapped the table. “And then? And then?”
Cheng Xi was speechless. When she saw that Lu Chenzhou had no intention of stopping this conversation at all, she could only speak up and say, “Is it really appropriate for the two of you to discuss this in front of the involved parties?”
And then she was pushed aside by Tian Rou’s palm. “Go to the side and don’t make a fuss!” Then, freed from distractions, she continued spurring Baldy on.
The rest of Baldy’s story was exactly as Cheng Xi guessed: it was his damn idea all along to have Lu Chenzhou buy a big red blanket, cover himself up with it, and then gift the bundle to her to unwrap!
“Restoring the olden days of a candlelit wedding night. How beautiful, how romantic!”
Romantic, my ass! But when she recalled the 囧 expression she had made that night, Cheng Xi unfortunately started blushing again. She shot another look at the calm and collected Lu Chenzhou. “Are you really not going to stop them from gossipping?”
Lu Chenzhou peered at her curiously. “Why would I care?”
She had completely forgotten that he thought differently from a normal person, and that he didn’t care about things like this at all.
Baldy and Tian Rou laughed loudly at Lu Chenzhou’s response, becoming even more unrestrained. Lu Chenzhou had been very busy in the past couple of weeks, as he had to both deal with company matters and set up dates with Cheng Xi. So, Baldy had been eagerly awaiting the results of his devious plan. When he saw Cheng Xi’s reaction, he easily deduced that Lu Chenzhou had indeed done as he had instructed. He smiled exaggeratedly as he directly asked Lu Chenzhou, “What happened after? Was the effect good?”
Lu Chenzhou opened his mouth and was about to answer, but Cheng Xi immediately guessed what he was about to say. She tossed all her misgivings to the wind and ran over to clamp his mouth shut. “You better not say anything!”
Lu Chenzhou raised his eyebrows in surprise, taking the opportunity to pull her waist toward him. The faint medicinal smell lingering on her body was calming, and he still seemed to be affected by their little encounter in the washroom. As if moving purely on instinct, his head arched over to her ear, where he lightly sniffed her before softly whispering, “Are you going to call them over next time?”
Cheng Xi was somewhat shocked, turning around to look at him properly. He looked back at her coolly. Although he didn’t say anything else, Cheng Xi could see the threat in his gaze.
My… my goodness. Who knew that Mr. Lu was such a devious person!
Cheng Xi wanted to cry, but she had to instead obediently admit her wrongdoing—otherwise, if he really told everyone what happened that night, she would be humiliated, alright? She clasped her hands together, softly pleading for mercy.
Baldy and Tian Rou saw that Lu Chenzhou was about to succumb to Cheng Xi’s antics, but how could they let that happen that easily? They still hadn’t heard the juiciest part of the story yet.
Baldy made an emotional appeal. “You’re not going to act like this, are you, Zhou? I spent so much effort helping you, by answering all of your questions and doing whatever you asked. It was all to support you chasing your girlfriend, and you- you- you… Are you so heartless that you would leave me stranded without a conclusion?”
Tian Rou, on the other hand, tempted him with an equally alluring trade. “Mr. Lu, you want to get together with the girl you’ve been wooing, right? Ask me, ask me! I’ve been friends with Cheng Xi for over a decade, and I even know her favorite underwear color.”
Cheng Xi was struck speechless. ……With friends like these, she was seconds away from flipping the table over and attacking them!
Luckily, after Cheng Xi had promised him, Lu Chenzhou quickly dealt with the two of them. After letting loose a cold snort, he dissed Baldy first. “If you’re so capable of romance, then why are you still single even after all these years?”
And then he turned his attention to Tian Rou, his gaze disdainful. “If I wanted to know what color underwear she’s wearing, then why would I ask you? Can’t I just undress her myself?
When Cheng Xi was the only one left alive, she obediently sat back in her chair, looking at him with a 囧囧囧 expression.
But Lu Chenzhou nonethless turned his gaze to her next. Though his facial features were sharp, his expression was somewhat gentle. “On our next date, if you bring another wagon of third wheels along……” He leaned in close to deliver his punchline, softly saying, “I’ll ravage you!”
Cheng Xi…...also vanquished.